Tuesday, October 21, 2014

An Act of Violence.

That's right.  An act of violence.

I've often heard the quote, "Comparison is the thief of joy."  Solid truth there, right? 

Recently, I was browsing Pinterest one morning, and came across this photo and quote, also about COMPARISON.  Wow.  Did this one hit home?  Right in the gut.

We all know how dangerous comparison can be, in theory.  We all get -- on some level -- that it is damaging to our self-esteem.  We are deluged daily with photo-shopped images and advertisements, magazine articles and television shows:  perfect lives, perfect bodies, the perfect balance. 

And, don't even get me started on Facebook.  Known as the "highlight reel", where you never see the behind-the-scenes stories and struggles.

We all do it.  We are all guilty of comparison.

  • Our friends have perfect lives, perfect spouses, and such well-behaved children.
  • Our fitness friends have perfect bodies, and their scale cheers for them every morning.
  • Our neighbors have perfect houses, that are perfectly decorated.
  • Our acquaintances have the perfect hair and the perfect make-up.
  • Our mom-friends have their lives together, and are so balanced. They somehow manage to get it all done, have a clean house, look great, and aren't stressed.

Bullshit (excuse the language).

I know I don't have a perfect life.  My husband isn't perfect.  My kids are sure-as-heck not always well-behaved -- just listen for the bickering coming from our house nearly every night.  I certainly don't have a perfect body and I'm pretty sure my scale groaned when I stepped on it this morning (I'm chalking that one up to PMS.)  My house is far from perfect, and I think I just saw a "tumbleweed" of dog hair go floating by. 

I am sitting here typing this with my glasses on, covered in post-workout sweat, yesterday's make-up on, and in my workout pants.  In which I slept last night.  I am SO NOT balanced and stress-free.


Read it again:  "Comparison is an act of violence against the self."  VIOLENCE. 

I want to stop this cycle.  It is no good.  I'd love to see others stop it as well.  Here is what I know. 
  • We ALL do our best.  Nearly every day.  And, that's simply enough.
  • My life is good, and I'm thankful for it -- all of it, especially this past year.  I'm thankful for my husband, and for my constantly-bickering children.  They all bring joy to my life daily .... despite the craziness, fighting, and chaos.
  • I work out almost every day and I aim to eat healthy.  I am in NO WAY perfect and deal with serious food issues (more to come on that in a future blog post) daily.  It is a struggle, but I am trying.  Recovery is hard, but I'm in it.  I know for a FACT that if I wasn't at least trying:  I would weigh well-over 300 pounds.  That is my truth.
  • I love my house,  and the people that fill it, despite the clutter that also seems to fills it.
  • Perfect make-up?  Nah.  I don't even know how to properly apply eye-shadow.
  • I am not balanced and not stress-free.  Like, ever.  I am a true work-in-progress in that area.
So, let's stop the violence, okay?  Stop the comparison.  It is nonsense, it is false, and it isn't what we all deserve.

Just do your best.  Your best may not look like my best, either.  But, guess what? 

It is good enough.  And, SO ARE YOU.